Prickly Pears

Imagine thousands of acres of seedless and thornless prickly pears, growing out in Australian Outback orchards, and yielding wonderful drought-resistant harvests of delicious purple fruits. It hasn't happened yet, but one day it will.

There is absolutely no reason why plant breeders can't produce non-invasive, seedless and thornless prickly pears, grown for flavour as well. But that isn't how things work. Instead of drought-resistant cactus orchards, we have to have water-guzzling agriculture with thirsty trees not wholly suited to the hot dry climate.

My boyfriend and I think prickly pears are one of the most delicious fruits of all--so sweet, juicy and luscious, you'd be hooked once you've tried them. They are still to be found growing wild all around Australia.

Prickly pears have beautiful yellow hibiscus-sized flowers in spring. The ''pear'' fruits are a reddish-purple colour when ripe. There is also another type you sometimes see, which has giant orange flowers, and orange fruits. They are, of course, as cacti, very drought-resistant, tough, and don't need very much water at all.

If you want to pick them as bush tucker, get some heavy garden gloves and a pair of barbecue tongs. Bring a pair of tweezers, too!! In the countryside, you'll see the ripe fruits all purple and succulent in the late summer. Twist them off with the barbecue tongs. Then hold the fruits over a jet of gas flame, until you are sure all of the thorns are burnt off. Rinse. Then carefully peel the fruits to remove the skins. Rinse again, then pat dry with a tissue. Hold the peeled fruits up to the light, carefully, to examine for any stray thorns. We don't want you getting a thorn in your mouth, throat or tummy! Having satisfied yourself that no thorns remain, you are free to use the fruits as you wish.

They are lovely eaten fresh, as they are. You could blend them fresh with silken tofu or icecream. You could stew them, or make them into jams. They are a nice useful sweet fruit that can be used in many ways. Prickly pears are a most underestimated source of quality food.

In Mexico the young tender cactus pads are eaten as a green vegetable. Indeed, you can buy cans of cactus greens as part of the El Paso range of Mexican foods in Australian supermarkets. To cook the young cactus pads, simply harvest them in the same way as the fruits, and then blast them with a hot gas flame--again, to sizzle off the thorns. Wash and peel them, and cook them up as a green vegetable. Very nice, if a little gluggy, but what do you expect from the innards of a cactus? You can get used to cactus greens, just as one gets used to okra! (Try ''Okra Winfrey and Bryant Gumbo''--a delicious and fiery coconut milk curry combination!!!!) You can't cook up the big old cactus pads, as they are far too fibrous and tough--like for making rope with. You'd need a hacksaw to cut them with!!!

The breakthrough will come when seedless and thornless varieties are made widely available. It's not as if they will guzzle up valuable water, or be sown left, right and centre by birds. They will become a useful drought-resistant source of fruit and vegetable food. No-one enjoys picking out cactus thorns with tweezers; but the fruits are too good to pass up. Thornless varieties mean that there'll be no more agony involved in picking what must, surely, be one of the tastiest fruits of all? Everybody should have the right to taste and enjoy prickly pears. ''Here we go round the prickly pear, prickly pear, prickly pear....''